Life is good. No, seriously, life is good. For once, there is no sarcasm. Yes, I'm still stressed out. Yes, I don't have all the answers to my questions. And, no, the puzzle pieces aren't suddenly deciding to fall into place. But LIFE IS GOOD.
I have a job that I love. No, it isn't perfect. I don't always get to work and I am too stressed about things out of my control. But I have a job and I do really love it.
I have 3 beautiful girls. They are sweet, smart, well behaved, caring little girls. Granted, custody is always an issue and I'll have to deal with their dad for the rest of their lives. But they are still mine and they are safe, happy and healthy.
I have an awesome guy. He cares about me and the girls and he is willing to do anything for us. He is amazing, handsome and does the little things to make me smile. Yes, we have had our share of issues, but we love each other and we have a great relationship that was made stronger by fighting through the issues together. And he's the type of guy that won't let me give up. He fights for us and reminds me that things are worth fighting for.
I have a house, a car and a dog. I have friends that would do anything for me and vise versa. I have a church family that is growing every day. I live in a state where I can go hiking in December and complain about the heat. I am healthy, strong and intelligent. And I didn't cave and buy an elf! Life is good.
I watch the people I love struggle all the time. People out of work, people battling addictions and other demons, people that have children or family members that are sick and dying, people who have lost faith in everything. I have never told any one to look at the positives in their life. Honestly, any time that anyone has told me that, I have wanted to slap them. But I will admit to looking at all the bad that is going on and reminding myself that life is good.
There are so many people that look for drama and try to find something to complain about. (Yes, I do that too sometimes, but I am aware of it now and really try hard not to do that any more.) I honestly wonder if they could ever be happy. If you want to see things as terrible, if you want to believe that the world is out to get you, can you ever find happiness? I want to tell one of my friends that for every horrible, awful thing that you see as part of your life, take a look around at all the situations that surround you and see if they really are that horrible. Maybe after a few days she'll change her mind and decide that the world is not out to get her. But maybe she will never see things as good. But at least I can still use her to remind myself that life is good. And if one day everything does decide to fall apart around me, at least I don't have that crappy attitude.
Friday, something unbelievably horrible happened. Something that has happened all too often lately. I am still struggling not to cry when I think about it. But it feels as though some people are already blowing it off. Turning it into a political battle about gun control and other issues. I honestly wonder if the sheer number of tragedies have numbed some people. Maybe the more that occur, the more commonplace it becomes for them and the less it hurts? The more it gives them a reason to think that they have answers to it all? I want to distance myself from my facebook account more the last few days than I did over the election. Arguing with your friends or friends of your friends isn't going to fix the problem. Legalizing or banning guns isn't going to fix it. There has to be a way to find a root of the problem. Is it a mental health issue? Is it a numbness to violence that we have created? Is it the total lack of religious beliefs? Is it this parenting style that seems so prevalent, where people don't discipline their kids and the kids want for nothing? Is it a cry for attention? Let me kill people because that's the only way I'll be known for anything? I want my children to be well balanced functioning adults when they reach that age. But more importantly, I want them to reach that age. It's a scary time in our world and I hope some way, some how we can come together and find a solution.
Sorry if this seems disjointed, but if you know me, you know that my thoughts can be disjointed at times and these all seemed to link together in my head...