Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Wow, that girl's batcrap crazy... wait, that's me? Uh oh

     I haven't had many out of body experiences, but the one I recently had seems like it might be worth sharing. I've said a lot recently about how stressful life is. I don't think that there is any aspect of my life that doesn't cause some sort of stress. And apparently the thing that brought the crazy out was the van breaking down. 
      My job can be very unreliable. I can't always get all my shifts because of the nature of the unit I work in. I love what I do, but as a single mom the unreliability is very hard on the old savings account.  When the savings account gets low, thats always when SOMETHING happens.
      My something happens to be the van falling apart.  Driving back from Orlando,  fortunately with the boy in the seat next to me, the van suddenly wouldn't accelerate.  I get frustrated and punch the steering wheel a couple times and say some words I shouldn't repeat. Luckily, the boy yells at me to pull it together and I kinda calm down.
      Two days later, rental car is picked up and the van is in the shop. I'm a giant bundle of nerves. Every inch of my body is tense and ready to snap.  My brilliant self decides that I should have some wine. And not just a glass, I drank the entire bottle. Oh, and I didn't have dinner. Like I said, brilliant.
      I honestly don't know what all I did to make myself look like a complete fool, but I know that I yelled and I cried and I threw things.   I also know that the entire time I was doing all this, that it was crazy. But I was not in control. That crazy lady had control.  And boy, that lady was batcrap crazy.  Crying, fully dressed in the bathtub crazy...
      Have you ever had the crazy lady take control?  How did you make her go away?  I finally put myself in bed and woke up sane. And fortunately,  still in a relationship. He must really love me if the crazy lady didn't scare him away...

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