Friday, November 16, 2012

So there's a boy....

     I met this boy in 1997.  I was a wee freshman in college and he was a junior.  He was only going to be in Florida for a year.  That did not stop me from developing a ginormous crush.  We were both in jazz band.  I was a jazz rookie.  I was always great in band, but I was so out of my league when it came to jazz.  You have to improvise...?  What?  I have to make it up?  I don't have a clue how to do this.  AND I'm sharing music with this really cute guy that is AMAZING at jazz????   You don't know me yet, but I am a perfectionist.  If I'm not great, I don't even want to try. (Well, this is the exception, but I'm trying.)   I was so intimidated.  I was trying to write my improv so that I knew that it would sound good so I could impress him.  Not sure what worked, but he called me...
    J: "Hey kid, whatcha doing?'
    My thoughts "wait, he's calling me, what?  I don't know what to say.  SOMEONE HELP ME"
    Despite my complete awkwardness, we dated.  Well, if you can really call it dating.  We were at a tiny college in the smallest town I've ever been in and there weren't a lot of places to go out.  I never thought he was serious.  I honestly thought he was playing me.  He was being a 20 y/o boy, calling occasionally, just seeing if I want to hang out.  I was being a naive 18 y/o thinking that if he didn't call every day then he must not like me very much.  So I started dating someone else and he moved away.
     That brings us to 2011.  I was in the process of getting divorced and I changed my name on Facebook to reflect that.  The NEXT day I get a friend request.  WOW, it's my crush.  I was dumbfounded.  To this day, I can't believe that he even remembered me, never mind the fact that he was looking me up.  It took about a week, but there we were talking on the phone and texting back and forth.  ALL DAY LONG.  No, seriously, I prolly averaged about 3-4 hours of sleep because we were too busy texting to sleep.  May finally rolls around and he makes it down to visit. 
     And that was that... It's now 18 months later and we are hooked.  Yes, we fight like cats and dogs.  Throw 2 hardheaded Italians in a room and that's going to happen sometimes.  He doesn't actually fight, he just sits and watches ESPN while I stand in front of him and yell.  Doesn't mean he doesn't fight or try to push my buttons, he is just not a yeller like me.  He's screwed up (a bunch, if I am honest) and so have I (prolly a bunch if he's honest).  And yet we just work.  If I listened to my friends, we would have never even gotten off the ground.  Some wanted me to not give him a chance after he had to change plans at the last minute.  Some thought he was an ass.  Others just wanted me to date someone else.  But I have to admit, good times or bad, ups or downs, yelling or hugging, this is the most honest, real relationship I have ever been in.  We have issues, but we both understand that life isn't ever going to be perfect.  We make our perfection in the imperfections.  Nicholas Sparks is much better with words that I am, so I'll use his words:  "There was something about him that spoke only to her, a connection that she had missed in the years they'd been apart.  And she knew on some level that she had been waiting for him, just as he'd been waiting for her."
       Maybe someday, he'll tell me why he looked me up.  Maybe someday we will actually live in the same state.  Maybe someday people will understand that we make each other happy, even when we are making each other crazy.  Maybe someday people will realize that I'm not blind, I see the faults, I just see the good as well.  Maybe someday....

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